To Kindergarten He Goes

The day has finally come. My oldest sons first official day of Kindergarten is tomorrow.

Even with the teachers strike delaying his first day, he is quite excited to get this show on the road. In his mind, summer just lasted a few extra weeks.

Looking back on these past five years and remembering all the times my husband and I thought about him beginning school feels so far behind us. Five years isn't that long... but five years has brought so many memories, obstacles, events, milestones and celebrations. My mind flashes back to the day he came into our lives. It is a surreal feeling to try to picture it. How can this young boy have ever been a baby, or toddler? He came out of the womb walking and talking as far as I'm concerned. There has never been a day that we were worried about how he would do in life. From the moment he found his own personality, my husband and I knew nothing would stop him. Yes, he is only five, but he shows so much potential it is scary.

A big memory that stands out in my mind is how my husband and I used to look in his crib and watch him sleep. Wondering what he would be like. Wondering who he would become. Wondering how we got so lucky that he chose us. We still watch our babies sleep, we still wonder who they will turn into over the years. Wonder what path they will choose. It is a lot of unknown. Exciting and curious unknown.

I have done well. Not allowing myself to get too worked up about school. He has been through two years of preschool, so this is just another step. Right?! So, I had done well... until I met with his new teacher today and was given a booklet to take home. In this booklet it contained a story regarding a boy named Jack, a Beanstalk and a Giant, referring to school and the teacher. In the end, the mother knew she must allow Jack to climb the said beanstalk on his own, and know the Giant is fully qualified to take him under their wing and show them the right stepping stones necessary.

Then it hit me.

My baby is going to Kindergarten!

What the hell happened? Where did the time go??

Why have I been in such denial up until this point that my child has grown into a boy. A handsome, smart, caring, creative young man. A little part of me wants to wrap him in a blanket and sing lullabyes to him. He may laugh at me and call me crazy, but it will make me feel better.

I will be ok. He will be ok.

No, he will be great!

For all the mom's out there with kids going to Kindergarten this year, or in the next few years, please know... the sadness you feel is normal. In fact, it isn't sadness at all. It is an overwhelming feeling of being proud. So unbelievably proud of your five year old who is now making their first moves to building their life as an individual. Creating new friends, learning new things, developing skills to use for the rest of their lives. It is a strange feeling. Embrace it. It will be added to the list of indescribable feelings you have had throughout your child's first five years.

Now I go to bed with a tummy in knots, an over filled heart and slight tears in my eyes.

My baby starts Kindergarten tomorrow...